Crystal River Counsellors - Edmonton

I have always had a strong love of learning coupled with a great desire to succeed. I want to know more about the things I encounter in my life and thoroughly research every endeavour I undertake.

When I became pregnant with my first child, I read all the information I could get my hands on regarding pregnancy, child birth, and parenting. When my husband and I bought our first home I read everything I could about buying and owning a house.  And, when I decided to start a private counselling practice I learned everything I could to try and make it as successful as possible.

However, when I got married research was not something that crossed my mind.  Both of our parents had strong, successful relationships.  Shouldn’t that be enough?  We were young, in love and naive and while we do credit our parents with having a positive influence on us, we were blind to the many factors that could potentially erode at our relationship.

Fortunately, our marriage fared pretty well. We were doing lots of things right, but we needed to become more aware of what those things were and capitalize on them.  We also needed to become aware of the influences and behaviours that were harming our relationship and guard against those.

Eventually, we came to realize that we had it within our power to make our relationship exceptional  by increasing our ability to implement the skills that contribute to a successful relationship. We  have since come to treat our marriage as our most important endeavour and this attitude has helped us to overcome many challenges, including military postings and deployments, the loss of loved ones, and the logistics of managing a large family while both working full time. 

Ultimately, what I learned is that it’s not the differences between spouses that cause a marriage to fail but how these differences are handled. As my husband and I learned the most effective ways to deal with our differences our relationship became one where we strive to build each other up rather than one where we inadvertently tear each other down.

We still have our differences, and even moments when we don’t handle our differences well. Every couple has disagreements about issues such as money, communication, housework, and sex. My husband and I are no exception, and arguing with the person I am closest to can really hurt.